Sep. 6th, 2012

tuneinturnon: shirt being pulled down sexily (Default)
Past business: the Day of Debauchery had to be rescheduled due to unexpected results on the STD test. J had an infection which left us both with a week of antibiotics and two weeks of abstention. What a waste of a four-day weekend!

Current business: I'm getting in an interesting chat with a potential metamour about how to communicate with her husband, the guy I've been seeing. I'm very blunt and straightforward. I have trouble with his communication style, which is neither of those things. I find it frustrating when I ask him a question and want an answer and what I get is a non-answer, whether that's because he's just being really vague or decides that's the perfect time to make a joke. I don't think that this is something that's likely to change. He's said that's just who he is, he's the guy who makes a joke first instead of answering the question. But it makes it really hard for me to get to know somebody if I can't find out actual information!

I don't want to be frustrated with him. He's a nice guy, and we get along well in some respects [not just when we're naked]. But after being with J so long, I'm really not used to being with someone who is so frustrating because we don't click the same way that J and I do. J and I are like two sides of a zipper and when we're pulled together, we make a great whole. We're very companionable.

Sure, he can be annoying. Last night as we were going to sleep, I thought of something funny and laughed, and as usual, he wouldn't rest until I'd explained the entire backstory to him. The thought process was "what if Ben Affleck had been in 'Rent'? --> I dont' even know if he can sing --> remember Jimmy Kimmel presenting Affleck as his mantoy in a tight shirt? that was funny --> laugh out loud." But J never heard of the whole Sarah Silverman f**@#ing Matt Damon vid from back when she was with Jimmy Kimmel + Jimmy Kimmel's rebuttal so I had to explain ALL That to him for him to understand why I chuckled.

With the new fellow, D, maybe his wife can give me a little advice to getting the kinds of answers from him I want. Or just how to cope with not getting the answers at all. Hm.
tuneinturnon: shirt being pulled down sexily (Default)
I'd asked for the metamour's email address. D had been a little worried but hadn't asked why I wanted it, he just gave it to me - a straight answer for once! :) I only wanted to get the password for their WiFi, which he didn't know, but he admitted later he'd been worried. If it'd been J, he wouldn't have left me alone until he knew. I'm glad D wasn't like that.

She offered to be a translator so I can understand her husband. :) I said that'd be great, but she's usually not around when we're talking. She said, which I knew, "I do know he likes you a lot, but has been trying to figure you out too, so I think it's just that you're using two different means of communication..." I agree. He says he likes me a lot - I'm not sure how well he actually knows me, but it's entirely possible that since I answer his questions, maybe he knows me better than I know him. :P

She and I also took a while to talk about her favorite hobby, something D and J and I used to be involved in but we haven't been involved for a while. D and I are really not interested in talking about it. J knows some of the same people the metamour does, so they had a nice chat about that which left D and I out completely. But hey, if this makes her feel more comfortable talking to me since we actually have something to talk about, I can talk about it for a little while. She said she's been "gently encouraging" D to get involved in the hobby again. I think she should stop; he's told me he has no interest in going, he doesn't want to deal with all the new people she wants him to meet, and I don't think she should try to make him. But she really does seem to have his best interests at heart in at least one respect, she isn't just doing it out of selfish reasons. I just left it alone because it's not my place to butt in.

Things I learned from the metamour )

She and I are going to chat again, get better acquainted. Maybe she can be a translator, if she likes. Normally I'd say "you butt out of my shit and I'll butt out of yours" but what could it hurt if his wife likes me? As long as it isn't TOO much... ;)

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