good news

2012-05-19T04:12:04Z

I wanted to post good news and something not all about the angst, for once. :)

Went with New Girl and J to a swingers' pool party where everyone gets naked and many people do naughty things in the water, and there are other people to talk to and other areas of the house to go to and so on, and it was wonderful. For one thing, I kind of saw New Girl in her natural habitat, as it were - not just because she was nude, but she was just totally non-plussed about people laying hands on her or getting naked [I'd heard she was clothing-optional like we are, but I hadn't seen it in action]. That, in turn, made ME come out of my shell. At these things, I tend to be a wallflower, but seeing her enjoy herself made me want that for myself, too.

I got together with someone and had my first truly great sexual experience there, where I wasn't feeling pressured in any way to cum or feeling inadequate compared to anyone else (possibly because this was a 1-on-1 with someone, someone I'm definitely looking up next time I'm there :D). I can take a while to get off, and when we're in a 3- or 4-some and the other woman gets off if the wind blows in the right direction, I tend to get tense and feel completely angsty and inadequate and that makes orgasm totally impossible.

J was off doing his own thing, talking with other women and occasionally with New Girl, and I was just there doing my own thing, which is a first at this party for me, and we've been going about a year now, though not every month.

Then New Girl and J and I started getting frisky and he suggested we could just take it back home, so we did, and we had a marvelous threesome where, again, I got off without having to be the one with my hand on the vibrator - which is a rare treat for me. She got me off with the vibe.

I can get off without a vibe, and I MUCH prefer that, but I can't reach my pink parts any more because my tits and stomach are too big and my arms are too damn short. J's arthritic so he often has too much pain to try to get me off with his hand or by oral (jaw). I wish I could magic away J's arthritis, because even when he's playing with my clit, I know he's in pain, so I can't enjoy what he's doing because I feel guilty about the pain and I also feel like there's a clock ticking and if I don't get that orgasm in under before his hands cramp so badly he has to stop, I lose my chance. It's less than ideal.

My understanding is that New Girl, poor thing, has both his problems and my problems. She suffers from a great deal of pain - I don't know why, maybe fibromyalgia? - but also she can't get off without the jet airplane engine of vibes, the Hitachi Magic Wand. She didn't have it with her. So while I played with her, there was no pressure to get her off (although it would've been damn fun), and I knew about it in advance so I didn't feel inadequate because I hadn't managed to get her off. That was probably the best threesome J and I have had with anyone ever, which fucking rocks.

And now, I really must be getting to sleep. I'm working on a headache. I keep thinking I hear footsteps on the stairs which might be J coming home but probably aren't, though the roomie may have just come in. I've had a long week and have to work tomorrow and go to family stuff which I normally hate, then Sunday I also have to go to family stuff but some wonderful person has offered me a Reiki session pro bono since I'm just such a mess these days, and I'm really looking forward to that!

Hope you are all well!

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