The Ethical Slut and Me
Aug. 15th, 2012 10:39 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tuneinturnonOne thing I don't like about the Ethical Slut just came to light.
I was looking there for guidance, and they say, "just because your partner is bothered by something doesn't mean you're obligated to fix it."
No, I suppose in the most technical sense, you aren't obligated to fix it.
But if you love the person you're with, you want to be considerate of them, I'd think. You'd want to do what you can to not make them unhappy, and certainly not do things that actively make them unhappy, if it's within your power.
So sure, your partner needs to "own their shit", as we say. They shouldn't say "it's your fault that I feel bad!"
But they can say "I have a problem with this thing you're doing" and your response ought to be something along the lines of "let's see what we can work out so we're both comfortable with the outcome," not (as many would do) respond with "don't blame me for your problems!"
I was looking there for guidance, and they say, "just because your partner is bothered by something doesn't mean you're obligated to fix it."
No, I suppose in the most technical sense, you aren't obligated to fix it.
But if you love the person you're with, you want to be considerate of them, I'd think. You'd want to do what you can to not make them unhappy, and certainly not do things that actively make them unhappy, if it's within your power.
So sure, your partner needs to "own their shit", as we say. They shouldn't say "it's your fault that I feel bad!"
But they can say "I have a problem with this thing you're doing" and your response ought to be something along the lines of "let's see what we can work out so we're both comfortable with the outcome," not (as many would do) respond with "don't blame me for your problems!"
