tuneinturnon: poly charms self-primary pendant (poly charms)
[personal profile] tuneinturnon
There's this guy I'll call "K". He took me to dinner once. He seemed like a nice guy. He asked me to go out again. Heck, he asked if he could kiss me good night.

But he refused to tell me anything about where he lived or his home life, saying that he lived with his brother and didn't want to have to explain a FWB relationship to him. I thought this sounded fishy and told him so. I said if he wasn't willing to let me see that he doesn't have a wife or gf at home, we were done talking.

K would send me a text every few months or so, asking how I was and if we could go out, and I'd always turn him down saying "do you still 'live with your brother?' [answer=yes] then no, we're not going out."

Last time we chatted on text, he got all up in arms about how I didn't trust him and it was for no good reason. I said I couldn't trust him when I knew nothing about him except this suspicious behavior. So he gave me his name and I did a little Internet searching. Found out some things he might not rather I know (like his mother owns the house he's living in, and he does in fact live with his brother, of which he has two, one may be a twin - same age as him - and where he went to high school and all kinds of stuff). I said "ok, now you've extended me some reason to trust you, you have my trust." And then he vanished again, proceeded not to contact me or answer my attempts to contact him for a couple weeks, at which point I wrote him off again.

He popped back up today. I called him on his disappearing act. He had a couple reasons. He apologized for not answering my messages but said he was being sexually harassed at work and after that all got resolved, he went "invisible" for a while. A woman was snooping in his email & reading his texts (of course, he was a moron and used a work phone for his sexy chats with The Ladies) & he was afraid 'his world was going crash down'. The woman who was harassing him was a client, and when he reported it, his company lost their business with the client and he was afraid he was going to lose his job.

And to further explain his radio silence, he said he did get into a relationship with a woman but she ended up being married, her husband found out and called him on it, and she wanted to continue their relationship but he said no.

I can actually totally believe the affair, because I'm almost positive (in hindsight) that at least one of the guys I went out with before I met J was cheating. I didn't get a call from his wife or anything, but he stopped seeing me the moment it came to "we have to go to your house because I'm gonna have this new roommate" (J). If the affair & its disappointment had been the only story, I'd get that. If the harassment had been the only story, I'd find it a bit out there, but I could understand that too. But both of them? I find I'm still inclined to suspect him. He said he'd been harassed and I didn't think "oh, how awful!" I thought "yeah, right." I feel like a bad person.

Am I wrong to be suspicious?
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tuneinturnon

January 2015

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